I was introduced to Yab Yum via a follower on Instagram. I had a vision & I shared it with my followers. I pretty much said that I envisioned me & my next lover meditating together, me sitting on his lap facing him & our hearts lined up, third eye lined up. Someone went on to say that it sounded like “yab yum”. I looked it up & low and behold, that is exactly what I had envisioned….I just didn’t know it was a thing, let alone had a name.
Some people may be offended by the images that I have here. Let it be known, I am not a devout Tibetan/Indian/Nepalese Buddhist. I am what you call a “syncretist”. I do blend many different beliefs, combining all of their unifying factors & such to make my own set of beliefs, in a sense. I am also not an expert. These are just things from my findings. There is absolutely no disrespect here. There are Buddhists who do believe in having consorts as Buddha did, where tantra came from. If you do not believe me, you can look it up! Know that it is all love!
There are a few underlying points that I need to bring up so you all can REALLY understand it, or overstand as best as you can. Yab Yum literally means “Father Mother”. It is the union of wisdom, compassion, and energy. It comes from the Tantra (which you may have heard of before). Tantra is a set of beliefs, meditations, and rituals to pretty much channel divine energy. It is NOT just about sex. (Again, I am no expert here, as I am a super newbie to the tantric sex world.) Now in Tantra there is such things called “Shiva” and “Shakti”. Shiva represents the masculine, as well as consciousness. Shakti represents feminine as well as power and energy. “Only when Shiva and Shakti combine can action, movement and creation arise. Until energy is impregnated with consciousness it is ignorant, disordered, aimless and “blind”. Energy alone can produce nothing; consciousness bestows upon it content, form and direction. Conversely, consciousness without energy is dormant power, sleeping energy, and on its own is unable to be the cause of anything.” (from http://www.chakras.net/yoga-principles/22-shiva-and-shakti)
How do you Yab Yum? It is pretty easy and simple. The man sits cross legged, aka easy pose for the yogis who may be reading this, and the woman sits on top of the man (facing him), legs crossed behind his back. You both can embrace each other (usually the hands hands are near the woman’s hips/lower back and the woman’s hands/arms are around the mans neck). You should sit in Yab Yum for about 20 minutes. Keep in mind that you should go into this practice with love towards your partner. You can check out a more in-depth explanation and step by step here http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/02/tantra-101-a-practical-guide-to-yab-yum-zoe-kors/
Now this is my personal experience & regards toward tantric sex/yab yum thus far. Tantra is not geared around the thrust & pump nor is it about achieving orgasm. Tantric sex is more about the feeling and being in that feeling with your partner. I have learned that it is a very different way to experience your lover and also to share each other’s energy. Breathing is very important with this practice. It wasn’t, and still isn’t, very easy for me to control my breathing as I tend to be so concentrated on what I’m feeling. I have noticed that naturally, I tend to hold my breath when I am about to have an orgasm. Breathing deeply when I get that feeling has allowed me to not “get lost” and gain control of the energy. (Sometimes the orgasm comes anyways, but its not the end all be all). Also, most of the time during sex, there isn’t that much voluntary movement. Where the voluntary movement stops, the natural energy induced movement kicks in. That usually consists of swaying, rocking, and these little, yet INTENSE, energetic pulses that are centered in my sacral chakra. This all happens when I am on top. One thing that also happens occasionally and naturally is yab yum. In the midst of everything, there are times when the energy is so high that there seems to be no movement and we fall into a meditative state, still connected. Eyes closed, hands on my thighs, and blissed all the way out. It is the most amazing feeling in the world.
To me, this is sacred. To me, this is what intercourse is supposed to be about (and for this reason I can see why most major religions do look down on sex, it is so powerful/empowering/connecting, it especially joins that energy with another being, and it causes you to vibrate on a higher level with your partner). I like to think of this as sex for the goddesses and gods. Whatever kind of sex I was having before was pointless. This is how it is meant to be. Masculine and feminine coming together and vibrating at such a high frequency that nothing can compare. This is a form of meditation, in my eyes, you’re just not doing it by yourself!
I will be posting more about this as I learn and experience more!
Have you ever practiced Yab Yum (whether or not you knew that was what you were doing)? Do you have any knowledge of tantric sex (not the westernized watered down version)? Have you/how do you meditate with your partner?