Has she gone mad? Is she suffering a quarter life crisis? What is wrong with this woman?????
A few months ago when I told people that I was taking a fast from social media the looked at me like I was entirely crazy (especially millennials). They looked at me as if I did the impossible and took myself off of life support. “Who does that?” “Why would you even want to be off of social media?” “You are doing the most, you are so extreme.”
Am I really? Is what I have done in the past, what I did today this unfathomable thing? Have we, as a people, become so dependent on social media that we NEED it in our every day lives? I personally love not being on my phone all day. I like to enjoy whatever it is that I’m doing. (I often forget to take pictures because I am so in the moment)
As most of you all know (especially if you follow me on Instagram), I have been going through major changes, challenges, and shifts this year (or really since I moved last October). I have truly been connecting to myself, my highest self, the Universe, my intuition, my angels, my guides, and my ancestors. I have been having urges to do certain things, to not do certain things. I have been shedding. I have been releasing. I have been letting go of things and people that do not serve me in a positive way.
I woke up this morning with this serious itch to just not be as out there as I was. It dawned on me just how many social media outlets I had. Facebook and Twitter since about 2008-2009. Instagram since about 2012. Youtube since 2012. Snapchat since 2015. I even have Tumblr, but I don’t even go on it like that….but you get the point. All of these things to just be out there. I realized that again, I could get caught up on any of these things for minutes even hours a day. I had to ask myself what is really serving me and what is a distraction. What is helping my journey/what can help my journey and my brand & what has the possibility to hurt it or stagnate it. So I said F IT after one of my friends said JUST DO IT & STOP TALKING ABOUT IT (I love her). She was right. Why do I need to tell others what I’m doing (am I really just waiting on someone else’s opinion as to why I shouldn’t delete those accounts or was I waiting on someone to validate my thoughts/wants?).
My brain was literally screaming HOW IN THE HELL ARE YOU JUST GOING TO DELETE YEARS OF YOUR LIFE WITH PEOPLE YOU KNOW? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU ARE GOING TO MISS THOSE THINGS! YOU ARE GOING TO NEED TO SEE THAT, GO BACK TO THOSE THINGS!
I thought about all the memories and people that I followed on these platforms. I thought about all the pictures & things I wouldn’t see (be just being nosey). I thought about family members that I was connected to via Facebook, inspirational beings on Twitter, “friends” on Snapchat….did I really need all of that though? What did seeing their lives do for me? How does knowing what they did yesterday help me along my journey? Do they even care about me like that or are they too just nosey? I realized that I was holding onto these things, holding on to the past (in a very subtle way). I was keeping these things around more so for other people than for myself. I had to really look at it and see if these things were serving me in a productive, lucrative, and positive way. Checking to see if it REALLY had a purpose. Questioning if this was more distracting than inspiring.
I simply had to let it go. Release it so that I can focus on what I DO have and make room for the better, make room for growth. Yes all of those things which I deleted held memories, but that is all they were. Memories of the past. Memories that aren’t helping me in my present and aren’t helping me propel into a better future. There was no need for me to hold on to them. Yes, I may have slight anxiety about things right before I do it & my Ego does everything possible to convince me to do otherwise, it feels SO GOOD once I finally cut the shit…literally. I love having new, open, clear spaces. Doing this really helped me practice non-attachment.
I just wanted to not be as accessible. Be more exclusive and elusive. I have my 3 outlets that can and will help me grow mentally, spiritually, and financially. This is all I need. People who have NO social media are still breathing. People back in the day did just fine without the internet let alone cell phones. I like the idea that if you really want to talk to me, you have to be semi-close to me. If you want to know what is happening in my life, you need to have my number. Same thing for real life. I like not going everywhere because when I finally do, its kind of a big deal. I am liking people not knowing everything about me, my whereabouts, my who-abouts. Who knows, maybe I’ll go through my Instagram again and delete more pictures. Clear some more space. I’ve come to like pruning and filtering. I’ve come to like setting up boundaries.
I know people still won’t understand how I operate, they won’t understand why I do these things, but I know that it is all needed and it is all for the greater good of my journey. That is all that matters.
I can get used to this whole taking control of my life thing.