I’ve only caught the gist of what this man has been doing lately because I am not the one to follow the lives of celebrities. But I’m reading a few recaps of Kanye’s behavior as of late, all I can think about is how this black man is hurting and all he needs is some love, someone to talk to, and for someone to really care.
Now, I am not behavioral psychologist, but from what Kanye has been doing, it seems to me like these are all signs for help. I’ve seen people say “the anniversary of the death of his mother does not excuse him from his behavior.” No, it doesn’t, but when you look at the groans scheme of things, he is a BLACK man, #1. Every time he has expressed himself or his truth, he has been criticized, attacked, shut down, or labeled the crazy and/or aggressive black man. From jump. At first everyone was all “Oh, haha there goes Kanye again” then it went to “Ok stfu, you’re doing too much, you’re embarrassing me.”
I used to be a serious Kanye fan (College Dropout is still my favorite & I don’t care to debate this). He was so real, so raw. I loved it. In his songs he would talk about how people thought he wasn’t shit, how he wouldn’t amount to anything, how he wouldn’t succeed. Also, let us take into account that he is from Chicago. A place where the drill into young boy’s heads that they are only going to amount to a life of crime, they will never make it out, or they will end up shot intentionally or unintentionally. Tick 1.
Kanye made it through the wire after almost dying in a car crash (which is a very traumatic life experience by the way) and from what I can tell, he used his music as his therapy. He wrote about his experience, rapped about it, used his literal pain to push him through. Tick 2.
Fast forward to the “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” moment. That is when people started to turn on him, although he made a very valid statement. He was deemed the unstable and possibly crazy black man. People started to think something was wrong with him. Tick 3.
Then his mother dies unexpectedly. She was probably one of the last people or things that kept him grounded and actually sane. Also, she was probably one of the few and/or last people that he loved, loved him, and that actually cared about him. You lose your mother and you were absolutely not prepared for it? Yea, that might put you in a state of psychosis. Effective immediately. On top of this, people are accusing him of being in the illuminati (whether that mess is real or not, imagine how messed up that is to be dealing with a dead mother & people saying that you ordered her death!). Like, let this man grieve. Tick 4.
He gets into a relationship with Amber Rose & we all know how that ended up. I do not know either one of them personally, clearly, but that man was absolutely hurt when they split. Maybe he thought that the love was real, it was going to be a forever thing, maybe she could even replace the love of his mother…but he absolutely lashed out. Now, I am in NO WAY condoning any of his behaviors, but when men are in love & they get hurt, they do and say the ugliest of things. Amber Rose. Tick 5.
Kanye goes hard in the paint for himself. He proclaims that he is the best rapper ever, the best to ever do it. I used to think he was just extremely arrogant and full of it. But maybe this was a coping mechanism to give himself some form of self-worth. Maybe he was really trying to love himself. Those who are hyper-macho are usually the ones with the least self-esteem, so maybe he was really trying to get to a normal level of self-love. Maybe he was trying to actually love himself because he had no one else to love him. He releases albums, goes on tour, releases merchandise. He stays busy…..possibly a way to avoid the problem altogether. All while this is happening, people are talking all types of crap about him. Tick 6.
Then he gets with Kim Kardashian (lordt have mercy). She is dealing with plenty unresolved traumas and dramas, but I am going to stay focused on brother Kanye right now. I do not know personally her either, but I am not going to lie, I have watched a few episodes of Keeping Up With the Kardashians years ago & from what I can tell she is very self centered and privileged. She is a part of a family that only cares about money and fame (I still think it is all a front so they do not have to confront their issues). I don’t get “realness” from them. So when Kanye & Kim got together, I was kind of confused, honestly. Maybe she was a rebound, but maybe she was one of the few people that didn’t think he was crazy & actually got him on some level. Personally, she seemed like his project (how he switched up her whole style and whatnot). Now again, I don’t know the ins and outs of their relationship, but I am going based on what I have seen. The both love attention & they both appear to love themselves. So now you have people talking crap about Kanye and people talking crap about his wife. They talked crap about them being together, they made fun of her when she was pregnant, they said that their daughter was the spawn of satan, they joked about how Beyonce hated her and that the Carter’s thought the West’s were ruining their reputation…all this crap). Tick 7.
Kanye & Kim have been together for a long time (longer than I expected, personally) so maybe this is a real thing. Shoot, their relationship/marriage is longer than anything I have had, so they are doing something right. Maybe they really do love each other and enjoy each others company. Now with them being a pretty happy couple, this mans wife gets robbed. That is a traumatic experience for every-damn-body. Kanye, Kim, Kim’s family, etc. Again, whether it was real or not, the public opinion has something (negative) to say. Then Kanye publicly “outs” Jay-Z & Beyonce for not being real friends. Granted, that probably wasn’t the best time or way to go about it, but instead of people listening to the man & all the pain in his heart, they talk more crap. Tick 8.
Apparently Kanye offered a peace message to Kid Cudi (who openly talked about his current dealings with depression) that same night. I think Ye knows what Cudi said about the industry is true because he pretty much said the same thing during his most recent California concert. Lowkey has been trying to tell us this for years, but no one has been listening.
I am sure there are more things that has happened in his life that I don’t know about & as I said before I am not obsessed with celebrities so I am not going to go dig up some information now.
Throughout it all, this man has had to live his life publicly. The good and the bad. He has had to deal with everything under the scrutiny of the extremely harsh public eye. He probably never had any real time to process anything and to find proper help to deal with and heal from the traumatic situations of his life. He probably felt that no one was in his corner. Uh, yeah, I would be a bit paranoid if everyone I’ve ever loved and trusted was taken out of my life or proven to be a liar/untrustworthy. I would feel like it was me against the world. I would feel like no one cared about me and I would constantly have my guard up. This man has been trying to love on himself for years and damn near everyone keeps giving him hell for it.
Kanye has probably been dealing with unaddressed mental issues (no disrespect), all the while dealing with being a very black man with an opinion. Maybe he is depressed, maybe he is schizophrenic, maybe he is dealing with manic-depressive aka bipolar disorder. Maybe he has all, some, or one. He has been crying out for years and instead of people looking at the underlying issues, they take things for face value and deem him an unwanted member of society. He is a black man in the public eye and we already know how black people view mental health issues…either you pray it away, beat it out, or ignore it (none of which are healthy). Look at how long it took for Kid Cudi to get help….years, maybe even a decade.
So Kanye, Mr. West, I get it. I do not think you are crazy, and even if you are I understand why. I see that you are hurting. I see that you are in pain. I see that you just want people to listen to and understand where you are coming from. I see that you want real friends. If nothing else, I see that you are a black man who is doing his best not to drown in this place we call America. I know you may never read this, but if you do, I will actually take the time out to listen to you and not judge you because at the end of the day, I know how it feels for people to think you are out of your mind when all you want is to be heard, acknowledged, and understood.
Please do get the help you need. We still love you. You are not crazy.