All posts filed under: love thyself

On Self Love || The Book

This book has truly been a work in progress and it has been a long time coming. Back story. If you have known me in real life, or via social media, for the past few years, you know that I co-wrote and released a book called Her Crown in 2014. It was the love of my life and I was beyond proud of myself for releasing a book at such a young age. Who would have known that things would have turned out the way they did. *everything that I am about to say is from this point on, is from a place of observation and reflection, not judgement. I was young and naive. I genuinely did not know what I was doing, I simply had a calling, a push, from Spirit, I followed through, and I learned as I went along (as with everything I do in life). I did what I was capable of doing at that moment, but it was not good enough for the other person. I will say that that …

How to Practice Self-Love While Dealing With Depression + Anxiety

For a long time (up until last year) I thought practicing self-love was impossible while dealing with depression and anxiety. I had no idea that you can experience both simultaneously. Practicing self-love & self-care during these rough patches are not full of frills and glamor, but are very subtle and extremely important. Showing yourself love at your lowest is what you need the most. It is imperative, actually. Dealing with mental health issues (which include more than just depression & anxiety, but may expand out to bipolar/manic-depressive disorder, schitzophrenia, etc), they do not give you a hand book on how self-love can be an integral piece of your coping mechanism(s). I figured I would share a few things that I extend love to myself. The ways that I still practice self-love whenever I go through a depressive phase or have an anxiety attack are: 1. I do not beat myself up about it. I say, over and over in my head, “Do not feel guilty about dealing with these things. There is no need to …

My Very Real Encounter With Domestic Violence

Last year, I almost died. A man that I had been involved with decided to choke me damn near to death in the Brooklyn Theatre after the Jill Scott concert.He happens to be a celebrity barber so he was there. His energy was different. He was recalling my life (although we didn’t follow each other on social media) & making threats (like “I’m not going to be the one going to work with bruises on my face” or “Do you think your petite frame would really do something against my build & frame”) that I thought were idle because the situationship was never violent, physically at least. He was talking shit & there were laughs & chuckles. He said some thing & I said that he was the reason we were not together was because of him, not me. I told him that if he said ______ again, I was going to pour water on him. He gestured with his hand around my neck (but not touching me) & said “if you pour water on …

Black Man We Will Love You: The Fragility of Black Masculinity

|9.29.16|2:20am Dear black men, We will still love you if you love flowers too If you choose to cry When you feel weak We will love you if you like to wear pink If you don’t like rap music If you like to get your toes done If you like your hair long or want to wear it straight If you like to be dominated in the bedroom We will love you if you’re quiet If you like to be romantic If you decide to compliment another man If you tell your brother you love him & give him a real hug We will still love you if you’re not “hard”, if you’re not about that street life If you are a nice man If you like to read If you love to learn We will love you if you don’t like to wear clothes or call other black men “nigga”. If you don’t want to play or like basketball or football If you want to be in love & stay with one woman We …

I Chopped My Hair Off

I had been having thoughts about short hair for a while. I kept trying to push them away because whenever I spoke the words of wanting short hair, something dramatic would happen, like my hair breaking out. I would change my thoughts, like “Girl, you don’t want short hair. You’ve been growing your hair out. It’s so long!” I even told myself that I would let my hair grow as long as it could and then chop it when I was 40-50 years old. I was sitting in my room, minding my business when the idea came to me again, HARD. I couldn’t ignore it. So I asked myself “what is really holding you back from cutting your hair?”. I couldn’t come up with anything. I don’t care what people think. I know I had long, beautiful hair…but it is hair. It will grow back. This was another test of non-attachment for me. Not holding on to things that I didn’t truly need. At this point in my journey, I am in a major shedding/releasing …

On Self-love….The Beginning

The past few months have been such a learning and growing experience. My transition period that started last September is still going on (my astrologer told me that it is a two year transition for me *insert ugly cry emoji*).     The biggest lesson that I have learned is deepening my self love. Being honest, some days it is there and other days I totally neglect the fact that I’ve learned to love myself so much and I drop the self-love ball and kick it to the curb. Since the beginning of the year I have made it a mission to strengthen that love daily and to make my love of self a permanent fixture in my life. On Instagram I have #lovethyself pictures that I created which serves as a reminder to myself as well as others.     One thing that I had to work on and be firm with is saying “NO.” I used to be such a “yes” person growing up. I was so miserable because I was doing everything …

No One Wants to Journey Anymore.

This is an unfortunate realization that I have come to, especially since my social media platform has increased exponentially this past year. So many people, mostly women, come to me and ask my for help/guidance. (Side note: I am greatly honored and humbled that so many people come to ME in general) It got so overwhelming that I had to stop answering direct messages and I honestly haven’t replied to any emails in over a month. It is not that I do not want to answer these questions, help others, or give advice…..it just takes a lot of energy (more than people think) to answer each and every question on a personal level (I never give out generic responses). Then you multiply that by over 30x…….yea. I’m in the process of figuring things out for myself and getting my life together, now I have to devote at least another hour or so expending energy that I do not even have to give myself. They want me to figure out their life and come up with …

Book Review: Warrior Goddess Training

“If you don’t love and honor yourself with every fiber of your being, if you struggle with owning your power and passion, if you could use more joyful play and simple presence in your life, then it is time for an inner revolution. It is time to claim your Warrior Goddess energy.” -Heatherash Amara Warrior Goddess Training by Heatherash Amara was a really good book. I saw it somewhere on Instagram and I figured I would pick it up. I honestly did not know what kind of book this was except for a self help book for Goddesses. When I got the book, I saw that the foreword was written by Don Miguel Ruiz, who is the author of The Four Agreements and The Mastery of Love, which happen to be two of my favorite books. That, in a sense, gave me a feel of how the flow of the book was going to be. Each chapter, which Amara calls “lessons” begins with a quote. Everyone loves a good quote! I liked the way that …

Womb Cleansing Ritual + Auric Cleansing (Part 2)

So I know most of you have read about the womb cleansing ritual that I had performed on myself the other day. Super intense, I know. But it gets better. On 11/7/15, I had one of the most unbelievable and painful (in a good way) experiences of my life. Let me explain…. After I did my¬†self healing session, I honestly felt so amazing. Still, something in my spirit said that I still needed help. I needed someone to help me thoroughly cleanse my aura and sacral chakra to make sure that all of my soul connections to these hurtful men and any blockages were gone. I reached out to my friend Crystal (who is an AMAZING healer and energy worker) who I kind of always go to when it comes to this spiritual stuff. [find Crystal here] Her exact words were “I recommend probably getting work done by an intuitive healer. That way, someone can read you from the outside. You + her = magic. Not often, but sometimes, it’s best to get one of …

Womb Cleansing Ritual/Meditation

So a few days ago, Spirit STRONGLY told me that I needed to stop having sex, I needed to be celibate. I was a bit reluctant as I have tried before and I clearly did not succeed for long. This time was different. I knew this was something that needed to be done at this point in my spiritual journey. The promptings were incredibly strong. My spirit was tired of giving to these men that did not deserve me. That in a sense “abused” me and took advantage of my love manually, physically, emotionally and spiritually. It was time in my journey to turn inwards, take all of that love that I was dispensing out and applying it ALL to myself. I needed to know what true love really felt like and I needed to love myself wholly and unconditionally. IT IS TIME. I called on a few members of my tribe who are currently celibate. If I am going to succeed I know that I am going to need as much support as I …