Planning and Preparing for a Nurtured Postpartum Time

TW: Mention of abortion/miscarriage.

While the excitement surrounding pregnancy and childbirth is understandable, the period that follows childbirth is equally significant, if not more so, for the well-being of both the new parent and the family as a whole.

The term "postpartum planning" may not sound as glamorous as decorating a nursery, buying baby clothes, or picking out baby names, but its importance cannot be overstated. It's about setting the stage for a smoother transition into parenthood, acknowledging that it's not just about the baby, but also about nurturing the physical, emotional, and mental health of the new parent. I believe in “mothering the mother” from conception to parenthood.

The postpartum time is often called “the fourth trimester” because the importance of that time. It is filled with exhaustion, new routines, afterpains, emotions, sensations, and fluctuating hormones. The first 40 days after birth are crucial for mama-baby connection, the establishment of routines, and the space and time to process all of the changes.

When thinking of how your postpartum can be, the first place to look is if there are any customs that are a part of your culture that you can pull from. Here are a few examples. Many cultures have a 21-40 day postpartum period designed to assist the new mama + baby. In Nigeria there is omugwo, which is where a family member comes to take care of the new mama and baby for at least 40 days. Bain fey in Haiti is a traditional herbal bath given after childbirth or abortions/miscarriage. China has “zou yue zi”, which translates to “sitting a moon cycle” or a month. Countries like Ethiopia and Jamaica have a 3 month nurturing time after the baby is born. In Korea, the postpartum period is called Saam-chil-il (“three-seven-days”), which is the immediate 21 days after birth that focuses on the wellbeing of mom and baby. In India, the postpartum confinement can last from 40-60 days. Many Central and South American countries abide by “la cuarentena”, a 40-day lock in, where the term quarantine came from. There are many cultural traditions and practices to be inspired by and follow after.

A commonality between almost all postpartum times is the theme of WARMTH. New mothers are viewed as susceptible to being “cold and dry”, the root causes of illness, which can deter their healing process. Warmth is encouraged by feeding the mama warm and warming foods, keeping the room warm, and sometimes even keeping the mama’s head, abdomen, and feet constantly covered or wrapped. Herbal baths and even steams (yoni or full body) are often incorporated as well. Another aspect of warmth is the mother being and feeling HELD, that the space she is recuperating in is filled with warmth and love.

One crucial aspect of postpartum planning is creating a support network. This network should ideally include not only family and friends but also professionals who can offer guidance and assistance. As a reminder, the people that are coming over to see you in your immediate postpartum time should be HELPING you in some form or fashion. This is not the time for you to entertain or be worried about the needs of guests. Your postpartum period should be a sacred time for you to focus on healing, feeding your baby, and being cared for.

Postpartum doulas can be an incredible asset for families, whether this is the first of fourth child. These are people who can help you set you up for what you need once baby arrives, whether that be helping you coordinate which friends or family members will come over to cook/make sure you are eating well, lightly clean, do the laundry, or even hold/watch the baby so you can rest or shower. A postpartum doula can also help coordinate meal trains for you.

A meal train, for example, can be a godsend during those early days when cooking feels like an insurmountable task. Likewise, having access to therapists or counselors who specialize in postpartum care as well as lactation consultants and pelvic floor specialits can provide invaluable support for navigating the rollercoaster of emotions that often accompanies new parenthood.

But support isn't just about practical help; it's also about emotional and spiritual support. Surrounding yourself with people who understand the challenges you're facing and who can offer words of encouragement or simply a listening ear can make all the difference.

Self-care is another critical component of postpartum planning. It's easy for new parents to prioritize the needs of their newborn over their own, but neglecting self-care can quickly lead to burnout and exhaustion. Simple acts like taking a hot bath, going for a short walk, or even just sitting quietly for a few minutes can help recharge your batteries and make you better equipped to handle the demands of parenthood.

And let's not forget about postpartum depression, a topic that deserves far more attention than it typically receives. The hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, and sheer magnitude of responsibility that come with caring for a newborn can leave many new parents feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable. Recognizing the signs of postpartum depression and seeking help early on is crucial for both the parent's well-being and the health of the entire family.

In essence, postpartum planning is about recognizing that bringing a new life into the world is a monumental event that requires thoughtful preparation and support. By surrounding yourself with the right people, taking care of your own needs, and being proactive about addressing potential challenges like postpartum depression, you can set yourself up for a smoother transition into parenthood and ensure that both you and your baby thrive in those precious early days.

If you have had a child, what were some things that you would have benefitted from during your immediate postpartum time? If you are planning to be pregnant, what are a few things that you would want to incorporate into your postpartum recovery?

Reach out if you need assistance in arranging your postpartum support, I offer virtual services!

Resources:

My Postpartum Book List on Amazon Storefront

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/international-postpartum-care-parents-baby_l_63c95f96e4b04d4d18dd0ec7

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7004345/#:~:text=Traditional postpartum care is thus,body [13%2C 19].