All About Love by bell hooks || Book Review
I have never had a book come for my life the way All About Love did.
The first time I picked up the book was around 2013-2014. I could not get into it for the life of me. The words simply were not landing in my body. I didnt understand why, but I kept the book and eventually gifted it to a friend late into 2020. Even when bell became an Ancestor, I did not feel the urge to start the book again.
Funnily enough, my breathwork certification course earlier this year had All About Love listed as a required reading. I do not know if it was because I was required to read certain chapters in the book or because my soul needed to understand what human love was amidst personal conflict + all of the things that breathwork was bringing up, but hook’s words finally hooked me.
After my breathwork training, I decided to go back and read the book from cover to cover (as only a few chapters were assigned during the training). I am beyond grateful that I did. As I read bell’s words, I understood why I could not read All About Love before…I could not speak the language of love. I was not ready or able to resonate with love on this frequency.
All About Love created a space and framework for me to critically examine my beliefs and understanding about love.
As much as I considered myself a loving person, I DID NOT KNOW WHAT LOVE ACTUALLY WAS. I could feel love, sure, but I did not know love. No one ever defined love for me. It was something we are innately, consciously, and subconsciously taught to have, to give, to receive, and to look for…but how can we find a thing if we do not actually know what to look for? How can I make room to receive a thing if I do not know its shape and dimension? How can I give a thing if I don’t actually know if I have it?
While reading, I understood that I had to go through certain experiences to be able to reflect and introspect on what I belived love was, how people showed up for me when they said they loved me, and what I was taught about love through words and actions in order to truly embody love or at least begin the embodiment process.
According to bell hooks, love is:
A combination of CARE, COMMITMENT, KNOWLEDGE, RESPONSIBILITY, RESPECT, and TRUST,
OPEN AND HONEST COMMUNICATION,
and THE WILL TO NURTURE OUR OWN AND ANOTHERS SPIRITUAL GROWTH.
Because of All About Love, I realized that most of the relationships over the course of my life were not loving, by the standards listed above…including the relationship to myself. There were only a handful of relationships in my life that came close to being fully loving and I am grateful to have experienced that.
There were many times where I literally screamed while reading because I could not contain the feelings of amazement and shock. There were so many passages that resonated so deeply with what I experienced, what I had witnessed and what I was feeling. This book literally flipped my life upside down as I made a promise to myself to ACTUALLY love myself.
Just like Uses of the Erotic by Audre Lorde, All About Love has caused me to hold my life, my relationship to myself and all of my intimate relationships to a different standard. I didn’t know it while I was reading, but this book ignited the pursuit of Love deep in my being. Sure, I had wanted to find love, be in love, and spread love before, but this time, the pursuit feels more grounded and fully conceptualized.
All in all, this book cracked my heartspace wide open and took me on a journey of enlightenment and awareness that I didn’t know I needed. With tangible words and concepts to grasp on to, love is no longer this lofty whispy thing, but is something concrete to embody, a consious and intentional decision to make, and a way to show up. I would HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone on their own pursuit of love in whatever capacity they would want love to manifest in their life.
Have you read All About Love? What are your thoughts?